Living Into My Powerful Question During Covid by Patty Robinson

I received my Powerful Question -“How Does This All Fit ln” -at a retreat for Pastoral Associates held in November 2019. Covid came on the Scene several months later and changed the world’s landscape. Our ministries went Into hibernation. My pastoral partner, Sue, and I realized the pandemic was impacting the parish budget. We retired to prevent the awkward situation of the parish having to let us go.

A new reality settled in. It prompted me to settle down and Settle into a new, calmer routine. My grandson u.am had to have his virtual classroom at my dining room table. His parents were each considered essential workers and could not be with him. Because he has special educational challenges, he. had to have a helper. I was the logical choice. Our home had to be quiet as a chapel. Even the clacking of text messages on my phone disturbed him. He required me to be near to assist at any given time throughout the day. Initially, it was frustrating. He didn’t like virtual school. He couldn’t concentrate. He cried. He resisted. He hated change. He was angry at Covid. I learned more about his inner strengths, his desire to learn and his devotion. I admired him more and more. I learned to lean into this process. Everything held second fiddle until school was over each day – laundry, cleaning, baking, cooking, sewing, writing, reading, The rosary beads were often in my hands.

I used my grandma’s Sears Kenmore sewing machine to make hundreds Of masks and surgical caps for the hospital just a few minutes away. I felt kinship with my grandma, who purchased the machine in 1941 and used it to make bandages for the Red Cross during World War 11, waiting to hear word from her son, my dad, who served in the US Navy. My prayers joined her prayers uttered many years before. Covid didn’t make me lose the connections across eternity.

I indulged in reading many books on a wide variety of subjects. I wrote notes and cards to friends and family. I found new ways of connecting.

Truthfully, I liked the `cocooning’ Covid forced us all into. My prayer life mimicked a cloistered nLJn. I felt the consoling presence of the Holy Spirit and the power of Spiritual Communion. My hunger was met anew each day. With that wonder and awe, came also points of caution, however.

There were moments of sheer panic. How does Covid ft ln? ls this ushering in a new necessary distance in relationships? I tend to have social anxiety and was honestly relieved that I could just stay home. Would that change me into someone who can’t leave her home? Would I let it?

What about hugs? ‘What about gathering at the table? What about the conflicting voices confirming or denying Covid’s lethality? What about the political divide that deepened? How can relationships mend when a mask has now become such a potent symbol of our divergent thoughts?

Overall, my Powerful Question is a blessing. It has helped me take the `long view’ of the current reality with the pandemic. I continue to seek ways that I fit in as a hopeful helper. My time in prayer has given me balance and peace. I recognize my connections and realize that cocooning is a solo activity from which good things can emerge.